Its been four years...

The love that once was born can not die
For it has become part of us, of our life

Dear Ama,

Four years has passed, to this very day, that you left us for good. How time passes quickly. I will not remembered it for the fact that it was my friends birthday and you left us on the same day. I remembered the night of 25th, when i was thinking to myself to wish my friend a happy birthday. I went to sleep early, without any worries. But mum woke me up and i thought it was time for school. But when I saw my watch its only 1 am in the morning and I was wondering what happen. Those words still tingling my mind till this very day. " tonight is the night, Ama is getting worse, we're going to the hospital". Knowing this, I jump straight out from my bed putting some clothes and went straight to the car, waiting restlessly. The fact that Ive lost all of my other grandparents and she is my favorite of all, I couldnt bare the thought of losing her. Once Im arrived in the hospital, we could really really see that she is getting worse. The nurses was saying that tonight would be the night. We were waiting for other families members to come. Im standing there, seeing her in a lot of pain. I cant stand it. We were just keep looking at her while she is getting weaker and weaker by the second. We knew that we are about to lose her thus saying goodbyes personally. This was the first time i saw my dad cried. The macho and the strong person that he is, he is human after all. Losing a person that who made the way you are, its tough. I was there crying helplessly as well. Im the last one who said goodbye and kiss her forehead for the last time. I kiss the same exact way she used to kiss me when I was a young child. She had sacrificed alot for me. She used to bring me to kindergarden following me just to make sure that I dont get scared and will leave once im alright. She did so many countless times. I couldnt communicate well with her. She could only speak canto and i couldnt. I hated it. But our love for each other beats that barrier. I would have wish I could communicate well with her. THere are so many things that i couldnt tell her.

Being the only son in the family as well, i was her favorite grandchildren. She would always give whatever i want. God, i miss her a lot. A hug from her every weekend, and just saying Ama, gosh, its just priceless. I know ur up there doing well grandma and I know ure proud of me as well. I know that im not doing the best i can, but i know that ull be happy anyways. I know that how proud you were of pa, and i know that i should be like him, but i dont have the extra drive like pa. I guess, his success is based on ur happiness. The sacrifice you made. Because of you, Pa is the way he is right now, and im the way i am. Finishing uni this year, hopefully. By the time i knew it, ill be working. How time flies. Gosh, i miss you a lot ama. Sorry for being the way i was back then. I should have been a better grandson. BUt now it would just be too late.