Hey dad, look at me, did i grow up according to plan?

I havent really blog regarding my birthday. Well, it was sad since was busy with assignments and uni stuff. I did at one point get really really really tired of uni. Just felt like take the books and burn. But, of course i didnt. Anyway, i had my 20th. So what have i done in this 2 decades of my life. I realsie there isnt anything that my parents could be proud of me. I just dont know. Im not the most talented student, not a very good sportsman, i cant sing and what not. Its even more frustrating that i have this ability but i dont maximise it. I know i have a gift. A gift from my parents. I know im smart. I do. I am. But, somehow it just doesnt know. I know it requries hardwork as well but i am and it just doesnt show. Im at a point where i could say i gave up. Im just going with the flow. Work hard and if doesnt produce result then too bad. Maybe i am not cut out for acedemic.

But, it really really hurts when you disappointed your dad. Im not literally but i know he expects more from me. Im not perfect and i could see his other friends children doing well in studies and i am just average. It just kills me. Where did i go wrong? Did i grow up as plan? I know he expects me to be like himself. He sees me as himself , younger version. I remember that he said, roy, you are like me. You are going to be a somebody but promise me you work hard k? He told me when i was a kid. Even more, i look up to my dad and told my teacher that I want to be exactly like him. A professor. As smart as him, as funny as him basically his my hero. And I tried hard to make it and try to make you proud of me but a quarter of my life has gone, ive done nothing that my dad could be proud of. It just kills me. It just does. Even worse, i didnt know exactly when im not close to him anymore. Maybe i grew up. Who knows.

Perfect-I'm sorry I cant be perfect, i just try to make you proud