To be honest,i thought deleted this blog for good. Then suddenly,when i wanted to start a new blog,i found out that it wasn't deleted properly. They change the web browser address. Then,i just thought why not continue where i started everything. I had this blog since when i was in Kdu since. Every memories since then it was written here.NO reason why not to continue here since aaron bugging me to start blogging openly again. Since the last event where an entry actually made me lose friends, ive been written in a more privately and i choose to just remain the way it is.
Anyways, let me fill the gap between April till present. So,they found out and they were pissed at me. It was not my intention at all to criticise them openly or what not. Its just my personal reference. Then they were very very pissed at me. They all turned their backs against me and supported my room-mate and insulting me right at my face. I thought they were my friends and they insulting me not knowing definition of friends. Bloody hell, that was the last straw. I told them straight to the face, fine, ill belah. Thanks but no thanks. I just walk off like that. Didnt see them for 3 months till first week of uni. I came back and we could pretend as though nothing happens but still i could feel the differences. We are not as close as last time. Oh well.
That happen in April. From there,it was a bloody roller-coaster ride. My bloody god, it like a god damn drama. Maybe in future, i could made my own movie. When i have sufficient money...LOL...Anyway, is like this. I wrote a post regarding falling for girls. Guess what,i just exactly what ive wanted. Careful what you wish for sometimes. This wish, nearly screws up my life. It has the effects as my average in my uni fell drastically. But,still thank god ive passed. Back to the story,fell for someone who kind of bring backs memories. Well let me describe her. First of all, she is a bastard. Technically due to her father had an affair and she was the effects of that affair. Then,her so called "mum" hated her and keep abusing her as though she was a maid. Not getting loved from neither parents, she seeks loves from a boyfriend. Well,they were a couple since she was 13. Young age, even worse with an older guy. Well,not new there i suppose. But, her morals of pillar,which was supposed to be parents responsibilities in the first place, her so called boyfriend is an asshole. What made me called him that. Easy, he does not let her seeing any other guy, even friends. And what worse, he abuses her as well. Strangling her, slap her, punch her in the stomach right in front of his parents and this is the worse of all, he sleeps with other girls. Zomg, can it get any worse? Thus, from that moment,i fell for her and promised to be the best bf i could for her.
First mission is, to be her bf. SO what i did was i did my best to get her. Used all the tricks in my sleeves. My god,still can't. I tried. That means, being there when she needs me the most. I skip classes for her, missing tutorials for her and what worse was all my assignments i couldn't do properly due to missing her i.e. takde semangat. But still, no effects. Then i found out she has this feelings at my own friend. So i cam,k fine. Ill help her out. I was in so much pain,it was unbearable. I guess it was time for me to go while i still can. But no, something held me back. She begging me not to leave. I tend to have soft spot for the person that i like. I didn't leave her side. It was foolish but it was like a roll-coaster ride. She was sometimes up and most of the time down. I was the one comforting her not that bloody guy. Man, and there was this time where i finally just told her time to move on. I got to study. Been missing too many classes. I was slowly moving on. But then, this news hit me. She called on 8th of june. 2 weeks to exam. I would remember this day. She called me she might be pregnant. I mean wtf? I went to the clinic and my god, she was. No words could describe what ive felt. The girl that all this while u love so much and this happen. I told her this,"Im sorry, i couldnt be there for you now. Ive got to study. Came back home,i just burst out. Don't know why but the pain is overwhelming me. The next 2 weeks was hell. Ive felt numbness all over. I could not feel anything except the feelings of lost. As though i lost my sanity. Just walk without any emotions. I have lost everything. But, with my 2 best friends in canberra, they gave me sight, strength and legs to support me. Slowly, they took me by their arms and slowly give me reason to continue living. Slowly, i regain bit by bit. Exam was right in front of my face. My god. Im dead. Exam just went pass a breeze and i seriously thought i failed. I couldnt be bothered. All i want is to go back msia and be around with people i care most. Family and friends. My god,they were the best medicine anyone could take. Laughter is the best medicine. Hanging out with my futsal gang is just what i need. All those supper,futsal sessions, chow tai ti,my god its just a blast. If u guys reading this, all i could say is thanks man. Gl,shashi,aaron theeban kenneth and the rest. You guys made a fun trip back home a blast. That was my reason for me to go back. Had fun. Thanks. God,sound bloody emo. Oh well, who cares. Thanks man and see u guys in future.
Well, that was till the present. I guess its a wrap. Bloody long post. Oh well,guess ive catch up with my present life. From now on,lets just see what happen.
Walking down to a path where no one knows
